Shame, Fiji, Shame!

Honestly, Fiji has played so badly in the Rugby World Cup that, during the game with Wales, the commentator called us "Minnows"!  I think it was meant to be a joke - "Whales vs Minnows" - but you have to play pretty damn badly if you manage to make WALES look good!

And if you don't know what an insult this is, "Minnows" refers to those rugby teams that aren't very good so barely count ... and this is US he's talking about!!! US, FIJI, a team that's always been a powerhouse in world rugby.

 Photo stolen from Simon, 

who actually flew from Oz to watch this game!

MINNOW!!! Bah humbug!

In fact, they played so very badly I have to wonder if it weren't all a passive-aggressive punishment to our Rugby Board for sacking The Skewer, the coach, just before the World Cup.  At least I hope that's the case because I'd hate to think we ever play this badly except on purpose!

Anyway, that's us out of the competition - but I don't care because I was like a rat and deserted the sinking ship two games ago! (Although I did watch the match against Wales because I was hoping! But I walked out of the sports bar after the Minnows comment because, well, I knew the commentator wasn't wrong!) (The shame! The shame!)

 Fiji spectators watching this slow-motion train wreck!

Thanks Simon!

But it's hilarious how angry Fiji is.  Like to the very bone FURIOUS! I've been trawling the Fiji chatrooms and the entire nation is up in arms ... but in true Fiji-style they've started being hilarious about it.

Let me share some of the best comments:

1) "I hear Fiji Police are preparing to send a Rapid Responce SWAT Unit Team to Nadi Airport to protect our coach."  Reply: "To protect him or to whack him?" (in Fiji, "whack" means punch!)  "Whack him, Goodfeller's style, right?!"


2) "Everyone's saying how they want to lynch the FRU Board for sacking The Skewer and replacing him so close to RWC!!!" "Fiji citizens should prosecute all the FRU board members who made the decision to fire the Skewer!"  "Yeah, and then we should burn their Fiji passports and send them to the coldest place in Siberia!"

3) "The Fiji Team needs to return from NZ by ship - via the Panama Canal - to give Fiji time to cool off!" "Well, if they come via sea, Fiji citizens will hire the LOMAIVITI PRINCESS and use her to hijack them at high seas!!" "Good plan, and please include in the plan a few large canon!!"

Don't you love?  I guess it's true: in Fiji, rugby is more than just a game for us! It's very like a religion.
And so, yes, I'm not looking forward to seeing what happens when our Team returns.  Maybe we should travel home by rocketship via at least six of the planets because I think that's how long it's going to take for Fiji to calm down after SUCH an all-round humiliating and shame-filled performance!

GO GO ALL BLACKS!!!!