Simple Prejudice. Or not.

Pete, a true HK urbanite, is moving out to live in Hong Kong's New Territories. It's a surprise, definitely, but what's most surprising is just how surprised everyone is, as though HKNT is so outside the scope of anyone's idea of possible places to live that it's almost as if it isn't possible for anyone we actually know to live there.

Do you know New Territories at all?  If we're not talking about the various islands - which we and this blog have been to many times - I certainly don't. That swathe of land beyond Kowloon all the way up to Mainland China is something I've only passed through on the train to Shenzhen. Keith's been several times, sure, taken by his Parents and Teachers Association, but that's the extent of our NT jaunts.

No, wait, I once went on HK Historian Jason Wordie's amazing World War II Tour, to see what happened where during HK's Japanese Invasion but that was before I started this blog and so I don't have a record of it ... although I may still have the photos.

Yes, found one:

 

The wonderful Jason Wordie

on his magnificent WWII tour

although here we haven't yet reached

the New Territories which we can see 

off in the distance.

Here we're overlooking the spot where the

invading Japanese crossed over

to Hong Kong Island and 

standing right where the Allies

tried to hold them off.

So that's it, the scope of my NT experiences, although Sai Kung is in NT so that isn't quite true because I've been - and taken this blog - to Sai Kung many times. And I find the jewelry stores in Ap Lui Street  up there in Sham Shui Po irresistible, and Dragon Lee Gardens, and the Tang Ancestral Village and and ... oh, so perhaps I've spent more time in NT than I actually realised.

But anyway, Pete announces he's moving to NT to live and everyone is immediately stunned, and then the jokes started:

"Don't forget you have to illegally dam your local creek." and "You need to start exercising your traditional right of access by blocking the local road off from anyone who doesn't share your Clan surname." "And don't forget that you can key (scratch with your car keys) any car which is parked in the village and owned by a non-villager."  "And later make sure you demand a parking "fee"."

And  "Start collecting a pack of feral dogs." and "Always remember to stick a toothpick in the side of your mouth." and "Build an illegal structure on your roof.", "Practise your banjo day and night.", "Hire out your back garden for crate storage, and don't ask any questions about what is in them!" and "Don't forget that you can legally set off fireworks during CNY.", " Yeah, and don't forget to have your feral dogs yelping and barking all day and night" "Especially after you set off those fireworks during CNY."

And "Get yourself the Hakka granny hat." "Yeah, don't forget the Hakka granny hat. You'll need it when you're pretending you don't see the convoy of dump trucks flytipping construction site debris over into your garden." "Yeah, that garden where you're growing "herbs".

And "Don't forget about demanding your hereditary village plot rights, which you will then sell on to the highest bidder at grossly inflated prices before moaning about the loss of your traditional way of life in the face of an onslaught of outsiders."   

Also  "More importantly, don't forget that the plot of land at the bottom of your garden can be rented out to those who want to build a columbarium so they can milk the poor folk who want to house their dead relative's ashes or a memorial plaque." and "Have you signed up for banjo lessons?" and "Can you ask the Heung Yee Kuk offer any loyalty programs say for Frequent Intimidation?"

And Pete's reply to all this, apart from "Time, gentleman, please." was "The first thing on my agenda is to build an illegal extra storey on top of my house, and then, to defend my traditional rights, I plan to lead an unruly mob through the streets of the town and set fire to the local government offices." which got the reply along the lines of "Unfortunately, those unruly mobs don't speak English so good luck with organising them."

Anyway, good luck to you Pete. You're a better man than I am.  And don't forget you'll have to write a book about your adventures up there in NT so we'll all know if  if our simple-minded prejudices about the place have the slightest validity.