Yes, something is afoot. But what?

Far be it from me to join in HK's current Hate-On but there is something definitely peculiar afoot.

It happened to me yesterday. I was out shopping when I stopped off at a favourite cafe for a cuppa. The place was full so I shared a table with a very nice HK lady reading a book. I'd just started my killer-sudeko when a Mainlander (obvious by that awful 1970s red bomber-jacket, bad haircut and wrong shoes) sat down with us without asking and shouted at me in the most aggressive fashion "You. Move. Go. Now."

The advantage of having high cheekbones and arched eyebrows is that I can do "rich and snooty" with great aplomb so that's what I did, accompanying it with my best angry, contemptuous glare and a slow "Pook guy!": a most useful Cantonese phrase which has the advantage of being a richly textured and vulgar insult no matter what tones you use. And I really didn't care if I was calling him "Gutter trash!" or telling him to "Drop dead." or the hoped-for "F**k you!"

The man looked shocked then flung back in his chair and stormed off in a rage, like that was the ultimate insult he could deliver in reply.  Like I cared!  Go me!

The very nice HK lady was as shocked as I was. "I'm so embarrassed" she said.  "I've never known any Chinese to be so rude. I would like to apologise on behalf of all Chinese."

"Hey, no need." I said. "The Mainland is up to something."

"Yes." she said. "It's like 2003 all over again."

And that's when I recalled 2003. The nice lady had nailed it because that's indeed the last time a Mainlander shouted at me.  Back in 2003 it was practically the norm for fellows in Mao jackets (they all wore Mao jackets back then) (definitely preferable to those 70s bomber jackets they wear now.) to approach me in the streets and shout right into my face, in flawless English, and with a rude, thrusting, prodding finger: "You British stole our flag. That's our symbol for "beautiful, rich, abundant country" and you stole it so we can't use it. We will get you for it.  We will get you."

Like, say wot?  Initially, the first few times it happened, I tried to argue that the Union Jack was a mixture of four different flags and nothing whatsoever to do with Chinese calligraphy, but that's when I realised that they didn't have any more English than that: that these phrases were learned verbatim, something so bizarre that the only explanation was that someone up there in Mainland China was coaching cadres with these phrases so they could come down to HK and shout them into the faces of we Foreign Devils.

But why?  Actually, 2003 also was a really strange era in HK-Mainland relations when China appeared to have forgotten that they'd promised to leave HK alone for 50 years and had adopted the ugliest, stupidest, most-senseless bullying tactics in dealing with us.  But then it just stopped.  I do know why. However, since I only know because I was shamelessly eavesdropping in a restaurant on a conversation between two very upper-class British fellows, it probably would be very wrong of me to report what I know.

But why the hell not!  Prince Charles had sent one of them up to China to find out why this bullying was happening and to request that it was stopped.  I was so impressed. He really wasn't kidding in his Handover Speech when he said he'd be keeping a close eye on what was happening. Go Prince Charles.

Hey, I wonder if that speech is on youtube. Let's see exactly what he said:



"Unwavering support for HK." "Close interest in our staunch and special friends." "We shall not forget you and shall watch with the closest interest as you embark ..."  Yup, you can see for yourself that he made that promise to HK and I know for a fact he's kept his word at least once.

Of course I don't think it's yet got so bad that the time has come for him to intervene again on our behalf but if Mainland China is once again teaching random cadres English phrases to shout into the faces of we Foreign Devils, maybe that time is not far off.