SYDNEY

Sydney shocks!  Truly, I'm surprised at how surprised I am by everything.  First off, after so long in Asia, it's shocking how CLEAN everything is.  And also shocking is how many Asians there are here wearing Ugg boots, hoodies and speaking English as a first language.  I no longer expect ANYONE to speak EFL, and here everyone does and it's particularly odd that it just seems so ODD!

Also shocking is that the skies are so blue, and tonight I actually saw the moon.  Can't recall the last time I saw a moon in the sky ... but it certainly wasn't anywhere in or around China. 

Also shocking, especially considering how blue the skies are, is that I had 'a rainbow swirl' last night down on Pitt Street.  Rainbow swirl is the name I've even to these weird 'pollution overloads' that hit suddenly in a wave of nausea and dizziness where everything around just swirls into a mass of colours; they last for about 20 seconds and then vanish.  I'd never had one in my life until I arrived in HK, when, from the moment I arrived eight years ago, and for the first week, I kept being wiped out by them.  I guess my pure-Fiji-air body wasn't used to the heavy pollution and it took a while to adjust.  However I quickly got used to it and my body settled, and ... well, I've really only had the odd rainbow-swirls in Guangzhou and Saigon when the weather is particularly hot, the streets are covered in a petrol haze, and the pollution levels particularly high ...

... and then this one yesterday down in Pitt Street ... at night ... and in the middle of winter.  Yup, shocking to me, and probably shocking to you too.

Breakdown of what's happening?

DAY ONE:

Arrived late at night after an uneventful journey ... except for the young man who died and all the cabin crew were trying to pretend he was just asleep but giving the whole show away by acting all kinds of weird and over-wrought.  And, in Sydney, trying to shuffle us all quietly off the plane while making panicked calls to the authorities.  Talk about sending mixed messages.  I think Cathay Pacific needs to do major training in dealing with these sorts of major problems.

Then we got here only to discover that ... well, again, after HK, where the public transport is so sublime, it was just so shonky and third-world how difficult it was to get from the airport to CBD.  In the end, it was all so fraught we ended up getting a taxi to find our 4-star award-winning highly praised hotel was also very third-world and shonky.

No, let me tell you what happened in the hope that someone will see this who is in a position to give that wretched girlie a greatly deserved scolding.  About six folk from HK, including us, went along to the hotel shuttle desk to get a ... well, obviously, a shuttle bus to our hotel. We were just approaching, about a foot away, when the phone rings and is answered by the teenage 'girlie' manning the desk.  "No mate." she says into the phone. "No more passengers tonight. You may as well go home." and all the while the six of us are lined up right there waiting to pay. 

Then she says to us "Sorry mate.  Too late. The driver's just left."

"But you could see us standing right here." we all protested.

"Yeah, well, you can always catch a train."

"How? Where's the train from here?"

"Not my problem. Find someone who cares." she says, all Atttitude-plus-plus-plus.

Truly, this is one girlie who is so gleefully rude and inefficient, she really should be working for Philippines Airlines.

But Sydney is lovely and we were out wandering until late at night, visiting cafes and pubs and just having a pleasant time.

DAY TWO:

Did nothing all day.  Truly, we were trapped; prisoners of painfully slow internet, freezing rain, Keith's locked-out bank account, and some nasty, stupid, new pre-paid tickets for public transport and such rude and down-right nasty bus drivers who'd order you off buses because you didn't have one and when you'd ask "Where can I get one?" they'd shout so rudely "This is not my problem.  Get off my bus."

Public transport is sooo bad, I kept thinking it was like being in a version of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit!" and we what we were actually witnessing was a sinister plan aimed at the destruction of Sydney's entire public transport system.

And please note that Keith was locked out of his bank account.  HSBC again!  You will recall that when I was having all those problems getting money out in Manila, Keith was exercising his Grumpy-Old-Man-gene and kept yelling at me "This is your fault. HSBC is an international organisation that doesn't make mistakes. You're the one doing something wrong."  And then - tee hee - here he is, only a week later, having all kinds of trouble getting money out in Sydney, and also getting told that he had to return to HK to sort out the problem, just like I was.  And, yes, I definitely was as mean to him as I could be ... 

... although it also does have to be noted that TWICE in a fortnight HSBC has screwed up badly with two different account.  Something definitely is afoot there and clearly HSBC needs some massive shakeup BIGTIME or it's going to lose it's wonderful reputation! I know it has with us!

But the nice parts of the day were seeing Keith's sister Janice.  We met up on the street and Keith says "Keep an eye out for a blondish woman in a black coat!" and then we both burst out laughing.  You have to actually go to Sydney to realise why it was so funny.  OK, I'll tell you:  just about everyone you see is a blondish woman in a black coat!

And also lovely was The Athenian Greek Restaurant.  We were told it has the best saganaki on earth ... and we were told right. A really lovely dinner and such reasonable prices.  There was, however, a strange "Moaning Myrtle" in the restaurant's wayyy-out-of-the-way toilets; some crying girl who we couldn't see any place.  Most strange.


DAY THREE

Another sad, cold and rainy day, made glorious only by a fabulous lunch in QVB with old friends from childhood, ex-Grammarians Merylne and Joweli. Best fun in ages, talking about Fiji's new opera company and Fiji's first original opera and I was getting so excited because I've always wanted to write a Greek Tragic Opera set in Fiji and in Fijian, and if Fiji's gearing up in that operatic direction I SO WANT TO BE PART OF IT!!!

Have to tell you, that was the best part of our holiday so far; this wonderful lunch, with wonderful wine, wonderful food, wonderful company, and wonderful conversation: I've been teasing everyone saying we were gossiping about them, but really we weren't ... apart from Robert Oliver, our old schoolfriend who has just won 2010's World's Best Cookbook and that win and his book "Me'a Kai" deserved a good 10 minutes discussion-time, didn't it!  Apart from that, however, we didn't talk about anyone else, although we did get onto Fiji's couple of long-time unsolved murders and what we knew about them and who we reckoned done 'em!

After that most mellow and pleasant meal, I had an urge to see shops that weren't all cookie-cutter and multi-national, so decided to go out to Paddington for a wander ... only the bus driver screamed at me - literally screamed at me  - "You smoke!  Get off my bus!"  and I wasn't even smoking at the time.  After that, I was so taken aback I didn't want anything more to do with the city at all. Truly, those bus drivers are no ambassadors for this city. All this new carrying-on like psychotic evil demons!!!  It's a sinister plot to kill Sydney's public transport, I'm telling you.

DAY THREE

Was soooo pleased to leave Sydney.  And we're now in Cairns where it's warm and everyone else has gone off to a party but I'm still being bothered by that bout of sciatica I got from standing in that stupid HK queue for a week so I'm just about to waste good holiday time by going to bed early, on the hope that that will shake it.

Hey, do you realise that since that queueing actually caused me Physical Bodily Harm we now have every right to call HK's new quota system CRIMINAL!!!

Anyway, more to come.  I do have a lot of little stories I'm leaving out, but ... well, I'm in pain and off to bed so see you later.