Random Fiji Post

Today, because it's too hot to think, I'll simply pick a random Fiji photograph with my eyes shut and if it's interesting I'll tell you about it and if it isn't, I won't:

Ooooh, cool.  You undoubtedly think "It's just a red hibiscus. Bet she doesn't have anything to say about that!" but you'd be wrong.

Red hibiscus are simply fascinating. How so? Well, you may recall that newspaper report that came out about four months ago saying that 87% of the results of the tests done in the past 15 years by The Big Five drug companies turn out to be irreplicable and are therefore bogus - did you read that? - and that these drugs don't really do what the drug companies claim they do. It was so terrifying knowing we'd been lied to that Baby Jane and I talked long and hard on the subject and decided no one was to be trusted anymore and the time had come for folks to become their own health-care advocates and be more pro-active about their own health issues and thus, while in Fiji, we did a course called "Introduction to Fijian Medicine".

It was most interesting and I really want to know more but am having the worst time trying to find books on the subject.  Hey, maybe the drug companies are pulping books on alternatives so we no longer have this choice!

Anyway, the course was great and for an entire day we were taken both into the jungle and along the beaches and banuves (beachsides) where Vosa, our desperately hungover teacher, identified various plants Fijians used as medicines and cosmetics, and told us how to prepare and use them.

A lot of things made us laugh because little flashes of memories kept coming back. Such as how often when we were children playing at the waterfall in Wailoku, gangs of elderly white-haired Fijian ladies would arrive to each gather herself a little bowl of mud.  Yes, MUD! It was very odd, especially how they were always so picky about what went into their bowl, forever circling the area to gather different shades of mud, mixing together various clumps of soil and clay and sprinkling-in quantities of ash and water to mix themselves a big mud-pie, then all gathering round the resulting mess, rapt in discussion, adding more ash or soil or whatever until they'd finally decide it was bowl-worthy and then they'd leave, carefully carrying their bowl like they had scored themselves a treasure.

Curious, right? And if you ever asked them what they were doing they'd say something entirely non-sequitur like "My granddaughter is getting married next week." and grinning like this should mean something to us.

And now it does.  In the jungles of Fiji there's a nut which, when crushed and added to mud and/or ash, will dye your hair.  You simply comb it through and leave it for a few hours, then, voila, your hair becomes the exact colour of the mud you've selected.  And from those little glimmers of memory, it would seem that everyone in Suva thought the muds around the waterfall at Wailoku made for the best shades which is why they'd forever go there to collect.

So, Clairol, eat your heart out. Who needs a chemist shop when you can spend a lovely afternoon at a beautiful waterfall with old friends and end up with the same result, and for free too? And let's not talk about the lack of carcinogens and such, because it just becomes too depressing.

Another particularly interesting memory? While Vosa was showing us how Fijians treat various ear ailments I had a flash of something from when I was a child: a bunch of European doctors at some function all talking about how they'd never once treated any Fijian for any ear ailment and wondering if there was some particular reason Fijians didn't get ear problems.

And now I know the answer: Fijian ear medicines work.

But back to the red hibiscus?  For high blood pressure, find a hibiscus bush with this type of red flower - and it's only this type will do the trick - break off the smallest leaves, chop and crush them and throw them into boiling water and leave to steep for a while. Drink when cool.  Good one, right?

But what I found really interesting here was that this is also the treatment for high blood pressure in Egyptian medicine from ancient times until today.

OK, despite how tempting it is, I won't let my mind wander down any speculative path that has ancient Egyptians and Fijians knowing each other.  Instead, I'll just say that in two entirely different parts of the world, centuries of trial-and-error produced an identical medication for the same problem and leave it at that.

Naturally there's a great deal more here that I can tell you but I'll leave it for now. Today's my birthday and Keith wants us to do something special to celebrate.

"George Harrison: Living in a Material World"

I'm meant to be telling you about our holiday in Fiji but instead I must tell you that I saw a terrific doco the other night: Martin Scorsese's "George Harrison: Living in a Material World".

It's truly beautiful, magnificent and very moving, and you really must see it because it isn't just nostalgia that makes it so great. Gosh, those Beatles were such beautiful, beautiful men, weren't they, and how strange is it that we didn't realise how much so until now? 

So forget anything to do with nostalgia because it's so much more than this. In fact, it's still relevant and important and what makes it particularly so is that, given the distance of years, you realise that, yes, each Beatle is a beautiful man in his own right, but together ... 

Mmmmm mmm! 

Perfection!

... because you finally notice how every face links in perfectly with every other face and something in each makes up for whatever the other ones lack and your eyes move from one face to another leaving you feeling dizzy and blown away with the sheer perfection of them when they're together.

It's like the George Harrison joke in this doco:  Q: "How many Beatles does it take to change a lightbulb?"  A: "Four."

OK, he means it because, for years, they were seldom able to take breaks from each other - Brian only let them have one day a month off from work - but watching this doco you realise it's particularly funny because it's true; you really NEED the four of them in one place because nothing can match the sheer joy you feel looking at them all together. 

But it isn't just their faces that do it for you because it's also how on-stage and even moreso off-stage they have a way of moving in and out of sync with each other that is so lyrical and just-like-poetry. "Something in the way they move attracts you like no other." as George almost sang and let me tell you that it STILL gives you enormous pleasure to watch.

As do the old interviews. There's something in the rhythm of their voices that makes your ear hunger to hear them talk, and how hearing one speak you can't wait for the next one to jump in as a kind of aural counterpoint and it's truly shocking at how often they get it right and each different cutting-in voice is exactly the one your ear wants to hear speak next.  

And let's not forget their charisma.  In all those old photos even Eric Clapton vanishes into a background non-entity when he's next to any Beatle.  In fact, everyone vanishes into background non-entities in photos with any of them individually and no one else exists in any photo when they're all together. Yup, each of them was truly beautiful in his own right, but it's when the four of them get together that it suddenly becomes sublime and tickles all your senses. No wonder the whole world went crazy for them.

And this doco makes you see it all over again and you really understand WHY you loved them so much and how no one today, really, can come close.

So "George Harrison: Living in a Material World" is great stuff, however must warn you that it's three hours long and that's just cruel for we smokers, however there was a section on George Harrison's love of ukuleles and since I detest ukuleles with a passion I was able to nip out without missing much.

Although maybe I did because I probably missed the bit where it said that George Harrison's last public performance was back in November 1999 playing ukulele with the Lomalagi Boys in a small village called Nasinu in the outer islands of Fiji, because that's indeed his swansong because he never performed in public again. And if you want something for the record, I have it on good authority that they played lots of old Beatles numbers and that they performed this one as the finale of their impromptu show:



Since this was also George's first recording, isn't it strange and wonderful that he ended his public career with the same song. And given who he was I think he'd love it that his swansong was for a small audience of villagers in the middle of nowhere.

Just realised since it's probably not in the doco and there probably isn't any record of this concert already out there, let me tell you how this event came about: at the end of November 1999 George and Olivia were flying around the outer islands of Fiji in Nick's helicopter when they saw a small village on a small outlying island and decided they wanted to visit a real Fijian village so Nick landed and that's when Fiji's natural hospitality kicked in and so they were invited to afternoon tea with the chief. Then, as they ate and drank with the chief, the Lomalagi Boys, the village band, came in to serenade the visitors, but the minute they started playing George jumped up and joined in on a borrowed ukelele ... and the minute he began to play he was immediately recognised so ... well, the entire village came running and thus it turned into a three hour concert where the magic kicked in and everyone agreed that it was absolutely incredible.

And I should also tell you that six weeks after this impromptu gig a huge crate arrived at Nasinu village full of high quality guitars, ukuleles, school supplies and old Beatles CDs.  It arrived anonymously but no one doubted who it was from and everyone took it to mean George thought their instruments were crap, which any of the Lomalagi Boys could tell you was no less than the truth.

And I probably shouldn't tell you this, but when George died a coconut fell from a tree and smashed the uke that George had been playing, so naturally Nasinu Village thinks this must have been his way of saying goodbye. That smashed uke, I hear, now has pride of place on the chief's wall, undoubtedly an art installation piece called "George's Moci Muda Levu". (And for those who don't speak Fijian, that's "George's Big Farewell".)

Hey, look at that.  I did talk about Fiji afterall.

Anyway, I've been sidetracked once again in this review ... but let's not stop doing that.  Let me sidetrack again:

At the end of this excellent doco, they naturally talked about the Horror Night on December 30th 1999, wherein George was attacked and stabbed almost to death in his home at Friar's Court outside London. It was horrible, yes, but then it showed a photo of the attacker ...

 

The damage done

with poker and table lamp.

Yayyy! Go Olivia!

... and the instant I saw that photo, I flinched and the hair rose on the back of my neck. Yup, it immediately freaked me out and that was because of the white-blonde hair.  Lately, ever since Julian Assange hit the news in such a big way, we've all been talking about Anne Hamilton-Byrne and her "The Family" Cult and how all those kiddies she got her hands on - some donated by cult members and others kidnapped by midwives at birth - at least 14 of them including Julian - had their hair dyed white-blonde because Anne Hamilton-Byrne believes that Archangel Michael works on earth through people with white-blonde hair, and she inculcated this belief in the kiddies she raised ... raised on a diet of starvation, muscle-relaxants, tranquilizers and LSD, by the way, so they could learn to better channel the Archangel Michael's wishes.

Mmmm, what's the bet you'd find most of this Angel Army these days as permanent residents of obscure and secure mental facilities?

I probably shouldn't tell you that I know Anne Hamilton-Byrne but I will because I do. In respect for her privacy, I won't tell you how and why I know her, nor where she is these days, nor what she's calling herself, but I will tell you that I've had many talks with her and so can tell you that she's not a con-artist like most cult leaders because she entirely believes in her crap and, yes, she still genuinely believes that she did the right thing getting her hands on these children in order to raise them as Michael the Archangel's "Earth-Angel-Army". And no, she's not completely bonkers, again like most cult leaders ... well, OK, she may indeed be entirely bonkers but it all makes sense when you're with her, surrounded by her warmth, charm and charisma, so it isn't until about a day later when your rational mind switches back on and you become all "Say wot?"

Anyway, since there are "at least 13" OTHER of Anne Hamilton-Byrnes "Angel-Army" out there, all now adults with white-blonde hair, all believing they are agents for Archangel Michael, all doing his bidding, and seeing that creepy hair in this doco definitely freaked me out and had me wondering if this loonie (Yoko Ono requests that you don't name these guys because it only gives them power.) was perhaps one of hers.

But then it got worse and I freaked out even more because Olivia started talking about the motivation for the attack.  Yup, she said that This Straw-Haired Loon said he was hearing the voice of Archangel Michael in his head telling him to rid the world of George Harrison, and she pointed out that he was carrying the spear he'd broken off George's St Michael the Archangel's garden statue so to deliver the coup de grace, much like St Michael the Archangel did to the dragon.

Thus, deeply horrified and more than a little curious and since this is me we're talking about, I spent the entire yesterday in cyberspace trying to find a link between This Straw-Haired Loonie and Anne Hamilton-Byrne but without any success.  Undoubtedly kudos are due to Yoko Ono because there's practically nothing out there (and the police in Tasmania request that the 10th Anniversary of the Port Arthur Massacre passes without notice for the same reason.) ... 

... except for The Cyberspace Crazyworld Loonies all trying to find a connection between Straw-Haired Loonie and that mental hospital in Hawaii that is supposed to have created all those Manchurian Candidate Assassins for the C.I.A.

Naturally, since I too was looking for connections, that made me feel like yet another Cyberspace Crazyworld Loonie so I gave up the search, but not before being totally sickened by the nonsense surrounding The Beatles these days.  

Gosh, there's such rubbish out there, like a Fundamentalist Christian website that claims the song "Sexy Sadie" was about the Manson Murders and showing that The Beatles were behind it and supported it.   

Let's have a listen to it again:

 Mmmm, maybe you have to listen to it backwards!

All we relatively sane folks know that this song is actually about John becoming disillusioned with the Maharisi but even if you don't know that surely anyone can check out that it was released in November '68 and the Manson Murders were committed in August '69 and thus it simply isn't possible.

When I said this to Jason his comment was "The term 'fundamentalist' should tip you off that nothing is going to be checked." and, yes, I have to agree. Stupid beyond anything, yes?

And here's an interesting story on this subject: Several years ago, I was on a train up in Mainland China when a weird-looking American family came aboard; patriarch-style father, timid "beaten wife" little mother, and a dozen identically dressed kids, all gingham, aprons, blonde, plaited-up hair, looking not unlike a latter-day Von Trappe Family.  Since it's rare to find folks who speak your own language up in China, I was about to talk to them when one of the boys said "Daddy, why was John Lennon evil?" to which the father replied "He thought he was greater than Jesus and that's why we had to kill him."

Things that make you go "Mmmmm?', right?

But it isn't just Fundamentalist Christians who are lunatics in dire need of a fact-checker.  There's a site out there that claims that the Beatles were fellow devil-worshippers and that the song Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band is a Satanist Anthem and the line "It was 20 years ago today Sergeant Pepper taught the band" is a reference to the death of Satanist Aleister Crowley.

Another song that needs another listen:

Mmmm, yup, another one you have to listen to backwards to understand what they're on about.

And there's even a site that claims that the Beatles were put together as a mind-control experiment at a place called Tavistock, which I googled and discovered does exist - HERE - but certainly DIDN'T put the Beatles together.

For those Cyber-loons out there, the answer to "Who put the Beatles together?" is The Beatles, although John and Paul would undoubtedly have squabbled loudly as to which of them was the actual driving force. 

And neither is there any mystery to that wonderful synthesis between them. It is definitely NOT because they were put together in some mind-control clinic like those lunatidiots claim, but because they grew up virtually together, going to the same schools and having almost identical houses and lives and parents (apart from John that is, but his more complicated life led to a winsy little fissure in the pattern of their perfect harmony that just made them more interesting) ...

... and then never let us forget that John, Paul and George spent an entire year working 17 hour days at the Rathskeller in Hamburg (and Ringo was doing the same in another band several clubs along) and living together in a space that was more usually used as a broom closet, so of course there was no way that they didn't know each other inside out, both on stage and in life. 

And, more importantly, it meant they were very young when they'd reached their "10,000 hours" required for true greatness and thus hit the world at the end of that year ready to go!

JUST ADD RINGO!

However, "George Harrison: Living in a Material World" will undoubtedly answer a lot of these ridiculous questions ... although I sadly feel that it will bring even more lunatidiots into the game.

And if you want to know the worst thing about it?  The bit at the end when it told how, in the December of 1999,  George drove around to friends places to drop off ukuleles saying "Everyone needs on of these around the house." and since Keith and I are currently at war because he wants a ukulele and I am equally determined he WON'T have one, naturally that's when Keith elbowed me in the ribs and said "See, even George Harrison says so."   

NO KEITH!  That doesn't mean you must get one, besides my take on this is that George dropped a coconut on a ukulele in Nasinu Village and so THAT is absolutely his final word on this subject.

But don't let that all that nonsense about ukuleles stop you going to see a truly great, timeless and timely film.  Kudos, Scorsese.

I'm baaa-aack

Back in Hong Kong after the most fabulous holiday that wasn't even marred by the fact I was followed the entire time by a freezing wind straight from the Antarctic.  Even in Fiji I was wearing the winter garb that I'd only packed for the week with Keith and family in Sydney. Who'd have thought I'd be grateful for those woolies since I grumbled so much when packing the stuff.

You may also have noticed it was also an entirely computer-free holiday so you haven't heard anything about it yet.  And yes, I will be telling you the best stories, only not today. You have no idea how stinking hot HK is at the moment and this computer-room is broiling so I want to spend as little time in here as I can.

Ooh, must tell you immediately that on my arrival back here I walked straight into Jackie Chan being 'papped' at Lap Kok Airport so I can now say I've seen Our Mr Chan in person and not just handing out prizes at HK7s.  Everyone always asks me "Do you see much of Jackie Chan around HK?" and in the past I've always had to say "No, except at HK7s when he's on-show.", but now I can nod and say "But of course I do." and feel all smug and sophisticated.

Anyway back to our fabulous holiday: first a week with Baby Jane and Talei at good friend Joyce's ...

 Joyce.

... timeshare at Musket Cove Resort ...

... on Malololailai,

 
...an island in the Mamanuca Group in Fiji:

 Map of the Mamanuca Group of Islands.

This was truly lovely only so very cold - Fiji hardly ever varies from temperatures ranging from 24 to 28 centigrade but here it was daily between 7 and 15c - bluddy Antarctic wind - that despite me buying everyone a week-long pass to use all the watersports and sailing equipment, none of us wanted to go anywhere near the water and Talei and I both didn't want to go anywhere near the beach.

This was then followed by a week in Nadi, staying first in one of the magnificent apartments at Worldmark Resort on Denarau Island for five days and then two at Molly's place. Molly was outraged that we'd got ourselves an apartment for most of the stay in Nadi but Baby Jane said it was so stupidly cheap that it was ridiculous NOT to get it. However immediately after we arrived we discovered why they were practically paying us to be there ...

Building a whole new set of apartments.

... but since they didn't work at night and we weren't there during the day this wasn't remotely a problem.  By the way, the apartments are huge and beautiful and are also timeshares so I wouldn't mind getting into this deal somewhere down the line.

And how lovely was it that Little Brother (who doesn't wish to be named in my blog) flew in with his lovely family from Dubai to share the week with us, and also check out if his farm's caretakers are actually doing what they're paid to do.

 Little Brother's cane farm in the hinterland of Nadi.

Which they are!  The farm looked lovely, as did the hill behind his farm that is currently for sale and which Keith asked me to check out for him ... although I did prefer the other hill in front of their place which I believe is also for sale.  And no, I won't show you photos because I really don't want anyone else to know about these sales until Keith has made a decision.

OK, I'll just show you one so you'll understand why I don't want to risk losing it to someone else:

 Isn't Fiji beautiful!

 
It was so lovely being back home but Baby Jane and I were talking about how we didn't feel any excitement.  Odd, yes, until we realised that what we felt was an ease and a familiarity and the sense of "Ahhhhhh!" like we were sliding into a comfortable hammock in the shade. Fiji really is the home of my heart and I'd love to go back after we finish up the stint here in HK.

Realised a lot of things about myself during the fortnight in my Vanualoloma (that's Fijian for Homeland) but mostly that I'm actually Kai Viti (Fijian) through and through and it's only here that my soul feels like it belongs.

And after that lovely week with my family in Fiji, I flew out to Sydney where, after the usual massive mix-ups, I finally caught up with Keith - who'd just flown in from HK arriving only a few hours before I did, so I assumed he'd wait for me there ... and the messages he'd sent by text and computer that he'd go straight to the hotel and then wait for me at the train station I naturally didn't get because I had neither a computer nor use of my HK SIM card - so we snarled at each other for an entire day before his family flew in for a birthday party and that's when things went back to being lovely.

His family is just gorgeous and I enjoyed every minute of sightseeing around Sydney with them, despite the Weather Gods deciding to throw in constant rain with that freezing Antarctic wind just to show us just how much worse things could be.  (And how mean is Jean telling me that the weather in Sydney has been warm and lovely ever since our week there!)

After Sydney, Keith and I flew up to Cairns hoping finally for some winter sun, and instead discovered that the Antarctic winds weren't ready to go yet and there was still no reason to pack away our winter gear.  After the horror that is Cairns new airport, you'd think the least this city could do was throw in a bit of warmth but NOOOOO! 

Then after a weekend shivering in Cairns, and several days with Baby Jane in Innisfail, I went down to Townsville to stay with Richard and darling Ella for a week while Keith went out to the Outback, to a place near Mount Surprise with the unfortunate name of Buggery Bend, in a quest for absolute Nature and the silence and stillness that he always finds he needs after a year in the noise and bustle of HK ... but instead went off chasing wild pigs with the Hell's Angels ... something he discovered that his soul needed even more than silence and stillness: a great giant dose of BUTCH!

Then after a week without him, and in the always pleasant company of Richard, Ella and Talei, Keith rejoined me in Townsville intending to get around to doing all sorts of around-the-house jobs only to discover they were already done.  I'd like to say I did them myself only that wouldn't be true.  I have no idea if decking oil has got better in the last few years or if Richard did it before I arrived, but those decks and other wooden surfaces we returned to Townsville to oil simply didn't need it, and so we didn't have to do anything other than enjoy ourselves, despite those pesky and unending freezing winds.

I must confess it was so cold I spent all our time in Far North Queensland in Ugg boots.  How awful is that? 

Proof!

Luckily, everyone up there is so hippy and ugg-booty themselves these days that I doubt anyone actually noticed.

And then back to Cairns for a weekend at our favourite motel - Bellview, right on the Cairns Esplanade - and lots of rounds of live music venues before Keith flew back to HK to start another school year and I stayed on for another week with Baby Jane in Innisfail, working on her garden with Shu, her latest WOOFER from Japan; a total darling, who Baby Jane says is now pining for me shockingly, the poor honey.  We did have so much fun together and getting filthy dirty in the garden was exactly what my soul needed. Keith may need silence and romping with Hell's Angels but I really really NEED to get my hands into soil and greenery. And doing it in the company of a Japanese tax accountant - whose soul obviously needed dirt and greenery as well - made it very special indeed.

This was followed by another weekend with Baby Jane in Cairns doing the live music venues because we'd decided previously that we'd stalk the local musician Dave Cooke, following him around to all his gigs because he was so outstandingly good.  Whoever knew that Leonard Cohen songs would sound so magical with the addition of a didgeridoo.

By the way, Dave Cooke does his own original music and Baby Jane bought all his CDs but there's nothing that matches his live gigs.  Can I find you something on youtube so you can see for yourself?

Not a Leonard Cohen but still amazing:







After that, it was back to Hong Kong and, yup, walking straight into Jackie Chan at Lap Kok.  Yes, I know I've already told you that but it was so cool I feel the need to tell it twice.

And finally I've got away from those Antarctic winds ... but truly this heat is so very much worse.  Honestly, there's just no satisfying me, is there.