HONG KONG 7s - 2004

In 2004, I hated rugby. Back then, I only knew 15-a-side and detested it because it was so slow and scrummy and made no sense to me. And the way they'd all leap atop each other at every opportunity? To me it all looked like big men flopping around inside a flabby fat girl's blouse. Shudder!!

It wasn't until Saturday, 2004, that I saw 7s for the first time and it was all so clean and fast and slick and suddenly Rugby made total sense to me, and that's when I fell in love with the game.

Here's the letter I wrote home, Saturday 2004. Hopefully, I'll find the other letters from that weekend and put them up as well so you can see for yourself how and why I stopped hating the game and became a Way-Bigtime-Supporter. (Still hate 15s though!)

Keith's off at the Hong Kong Sevens. Lucy offered me her ticket about an hour ago but I've decided - no matter how wonderfully Fiji plays - I don't want to go. Apparently, because it clashed with the SARS outbreak last year, everyone is determined this year will be a party no one will ever forget. 40,000 lager-soaked seriously-partying rugby yoiks! Forgive me for wanting no part of it.

Oh, but here's something good. Jonah Lomu got a ten minute standing ovation from 40,000 people last night. And he was just in the stands. It's the front page story in all the papers today and it's getting more coverage than China's threat to invade Taiwan, and the NCP saying that Beijing will interpret the meaning of The Basic Law for HK, and it'll bring into play the earlier drafts England refused to sign, so that Hong Kong is clear what China intended all along.

Anyway, unlike China, Jonah Lomu seems to have struck a chord with people the world over, as it should since it's truly epic stuff: the greatest player the rugby world has ever seen wiped out by a debilitating disease before his career got properly underway? Even the Chinese feel this story deeply and they were really, really moved by him being there and when they got a mike to him and he said "It's good to be here." the crowds went wild, and then when he said "I'm getting a new kidney this year, and I'll be back in the game by next year. My doctor's promised!" the crowd went ballistic. Gosh, he's a beautiful man too. The Mainland Chinese newspapers have him on the cover; a photograph of him towering like a mountain out of a swarm of Chinese supporters who only reach his waist.

And when the cheering went on and on and on, he started to cry, which just made everyone clap and cheer the harder.

As for the rest, NZ is trying to equal Fiji's 10 game win! Naturally, I don't want them too. I'm hoping Fiji wins for the 11th time and knocks the All-Blacks out of the running. The rest of the world is just hoping England doesn't win for the third time in a row. That would be too, too
devastating! South Korea are the underdogs so everyone's liking them, and South America is sending it's first teams, as is Cook Islands (they've got a Fiji coach, so we're allowed to love them).

Also I now understand why the Chinese know so much about Fiji. It isn't sinister at all. It's just that they're the best 7-a-side rugby team on earth and every March since 1975 they've put us on the map BIG-TIME! And on the lists of Top Ten Scorers, Top Ten Players, Top Ten Games, Top Ten Tries, Fiji pretty much fills every box.

Mmmm, after talking about it, now I want to go. I wonder if Lucy's still around.

Someone totally gorgeous, and you know who you are, has sent me back another of my letters from this particular weekend: (N.B. Should tell you that, in Fiji, where so many races live together in harmony - yes, despite what you read in the papers, this is so! - one of everyone's favourite topics of conversation is the ways in which different races are different. This letter is to someone in Fiji and so is in this vein.)

Fabulous weekend. Perfect weather. Exhilarating playing. Loved it. In fact, I can't stress how much I loved it.

You know, going to the 7s and being surrounded by people of a hundred different nationalities is an amazing experience. Having hundreds of people shouting out in hundreds of different languages and you know exactly what they're saying, kinda, makes you feel all International and sophisticated.

And after two days of been All-International-and-Sophisticated I've learned much: from what I've seen here's what I discovered about different nationalities that I didn't know before:

* Japanese are getting a lot more show-offy and individualist these days.

* Tunisians are sweeties.

* Canadians are "automatic for the people" underdog-cheering types.

* The English seem to have lost whatever they used to have in the honour department; they've kinda become scummy. Or maybe it's just that these Rugger-Buggers are "the wrong sort of people, darling!".

* Koreans are snappy-little-terrier stroppy-types, exactly like the Scottish.

Oh, you should have seen the Korea vs Scotland match. Talk about Laugh! You know how the

Scots are forever going Instant-Stroppy-Bugger? Like, knee-jerk ready to fight? Well, you should see them with the Koreans. Totally meeting their match! All the players were forever forgetting the game and going into chest-to-chest confrontations, trying to slam each other backwards, shaping up to fight, clenched fists, permanent "ready to go-the-stosh!" and "I'll do you, Jimmy!!!" I now think we can all say Korean men are the Scots of S.E. Asia.

Ask Christine if she agrees? Are all Korean men like that, or just their rugby players?

* Mainland Chinese don't appear to understand the concept of Sportsmanship.

* Yanks really are obnoxious. Like, they never stop talking, they always talk so loudly, and how on earth do they always know the exact thing to say that will absolutely p*ss off everyone around them? Do they learn this in school or something?

But to the Game: THE CUP!!! - the best of the best of the best going for the big one: Contenders: New Zealand, France, South Africa, Australia, Argentina, England, Scotland and ... FIJI!!!! GO US, GO US, GO US!!!!

I am sooo proud of Fiji. Every game was sublime and no one could relax down for a second. Nail-biting. We were all standing and yelling the whole time and it was so great. I thought it amazing that I was sitting with a bunch of Canadians and they were with Fiji all the way. Even the obnoxious Yanks behind us were totally getting off on them. That was good because I was feeling all partisan and ready to punch-out anyone who said a negative word about our guys, but I didn't have to:

You should read today's reviews:

Here's what experts were saying about Fiji: "highest calire rugby", "unrelenting excitement from start to finish", "my abiding memory of the second day of HK7s is ... a wonderful day of top grade sport that ... showed Fiji at their captivating best - with a style and a skill level that one can only watch with sheer admiration and joy."

You want to hear more: "Fiji's mercurial stepping and running skills ... a gathering of unsurpassed talent and experience." "conjures up feints and dummies which mesmerise one opponent another another." "Australia barely had a look-in", and "New Zealand's single deficiency, and believe me they are few and far between, is that they do not quite have the overall speed, dynamism and those almost supernatural unorthodox handling skills of the Fijian squad.".

You want more? Let me get another paper. Here we go: "My money is still on Fiji to win and regain the title and status the whole country has been crying out for since they were world champions back in 1997." and "Fiji versus New Zealand would be an epic final."

So there you are. Day 2 of HK7s. Everyone's right, you realise. This really is one of the premier sporting events in the world. Best fun ever!

Found another letter:

England won. 22-12. Nice game. They played well. That's three years in row they've won. Only Fiji and NZ have done this hat-trick before. Not happy! But I can be big about it! Well done, England!

Hey, Tung Chee-Wah just turned up to present The Cup. How cool is that? Don't like him! He's meant to be boss of HK, but he's really just Beijing's Best Boy. But this is different! I like that he's done this!

Fireworks have just exploded over the city. Nice!

Oh yeah, Jonah Lomu was down there with Tung. I like this even more. Guess rugby authorities do know how to use someone effectively afterall. My God, and how tall is Lomu!! Even Tung seems to only come up to his knee. And I LOVED Lomu's Armani suit! That was NICE! He may be on death's door but he looks damn fine! Way to go, Lomulevu!!!

And speaking of looking good, you have to ADORE Argentina's new uniform. They look wonderful, even in defeat. Guess THEY got in "Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" to put them on the right track. China needs to follow their example. Such stupid socks!

So that's it. The Sevens. Over for another year. And next year we've definitely got to buy our tickets a month beforehand. Everyone warned us how it was, but who'd have imagined a simple SPORTS COMPETITION could be this HUGE! We should have listened.

See you later. Go go England! (but said in a very begrudging voice!)