"But Molly Murphy ..." Strikes Again!

Sincerely, I was not happy with the Cairns Colonial Club Resort.  If it weren't for the lying, I'd just have thought they were simply inefficient, incompetent and rampantly stupid, but the lying made it ... well, sickening really. And made me rather angry too.

I think the last straw was being told, after we left, that the cheaper rooms also had baths.  I was told only the deluxe rooms had one so I up-graded at almost double the cost ... and when Keith found out he yelled at me for a while - la la la la la!  - but I had to have one because I NEED a hot bath after a long flight, so there!

But then there were also other lying e-mails - which I've kept for my records - telling me the wedding package rooms were all $99 per night.  These packages are ... well, name your wedding party and they give you a room at this "amazing discounted price".  However, I have also since found out that only the first room booked in the package costs $99 and all the others in that name cost $70, and yet, despite naming my wedding, I was initially being asked to pay the full $99, except, you know, I up-graded.

(AND I also found out that weekdays the rooms only cost $60 for locals, so if Jane had simply booked all the rooms under her own name we would have had a truly "amazing discounted price".)

However, we found all this out after our three days there, and at the time it was only the "But Molly Murphy ..." that got up my nose and made me, eventually, throw a massive temper tantrum in the lobby, screaming blue murder at all the poor humble "English Language Learners" they have manning their reception desks.

Something strange was definitely afoot because "But Molly Murphy ..." constantly struck everyone in our wedding party, even the REAL Molly Murphy, who discovered, after lugging a mound of very heavy boxes back to her room, that she was locked out, and then after lugging them the veritable MILES through the gardens to the lobby, was told that "Molly Murphy has already checked out"!

For me, "But Molly Murphy ..." started well.  I had just come in on the 8-hour Cathay Pacific flight from Hong Kong to Cairns, was exhausted, stinky, aching and lugging a mound of luggage-full-of-presents so, in a sleep-deprived daze, wandered out of the airport to grab a taxi to the hotel, thinking of nothing more than a cuppa, a hot bath and a long long nap, when the Cairns Colonial Club bus - big logo on the door - pulls up beside me and the nice driver leans out the window and says "Murphy?"

"Yes!"

He leaps out, takes all my luggage and puts it into the bus. 

Nice, huh!  An unexpected airport pick-up!  But on the trip he says "Molly Murphy?"

"No, she's my sister."

"Do you know when she's arriving?"

"As far as I know, she's already arrived."

"That's odd.  For three days now, I've been out to the airport six times to pick up Molly Murphy, but she's never on the flights."

So the airport pick-up was just a misunderstanding, however I'm fine with that!

But then we get to the hotel.  "Sorry, Molly Murphy canceled your room!" some poor little German English-Language-Learner at the reception desk tells me.

I'm pleasant about it! "Well, uncancel it!  I'll sort it out with Molly later."

So I get my electronic key and am about to lug my mounds of baggage through the massive and so-beautiful gardens to my room (the hotel really MUST get more porters) except I bump into Kele and Christine in the lobby and - so thrilling! - we spend several hours catching up over many cuppas in the restaurant, and then we meet Jamie and it's more thrilling catch-ups.

Eventually, however, my luggage and I arrive at my room only to find ... I'm locked out. So I have to lug my bags back to the lobby.  "But Molly Murphy canceled your room!" this poor little Japanese English-Language-Learner at the reception desk tells me.

"And I uncanceled it!" and this time I'm a total bitch and demand a porter to carry my luggage back through those bloody gardens because I refuse to do it again.

So my porter, my luggage and I arrive at my room and this time there's no drama and I get my bath and I'm a happy-chappy and life is good ...

... except for the next three days every time I go out, when I return to my room I'm again locked out and it's always "But Molly Murphy canceled your room." so ... yeah, yeah ... eventually sick to death of that bloody walk through their miles and miles of bloody annoying gardens I end up screaming at the entire reception desk.

At one stage, I even try to meet this OTHER Molly Murphy, but it turns out she was still arriving on each international flight into Cairns and the poor pick-up driver was about to scream at the entire poor little English-Language-Learners at the reception desk as well!

Most odd, huh!  Although when you couple it with the Paronella Park Events Planner not turning up, you are kinda left wondering if maybe, maybe, maybe "But Molly Murphy ..." wasn't some vindictive plot on someone's part to spoil Didi's wedding!

However, even if there were someone ringing up or hacking into their computers or whatever it was they were going, there is no excusing the Cairns Colonial Club Resort for constantly falling for it. I mean, you shouldn't have to scream at nice-folk-who-are-only-doing-their-job and in-a-language-they-don't-really-speak to make them realise that it's too too strange that "But Molly Murphy ..." is constantly demanding airport pick-ups and canceling rooms and checking out of a dozen different rooms on an almost hourly basis.

Truly, whatever "work experience" English Language School they're hiring their reception staff from, there is no excusing their general inefficiency, incompetence and rampant stupidity.  The REAL Molly Murphy has said so.