Quick Update

Talei ran a virus checker over my blog and it turns out to be high-jacked by some remote computer. I'm a little worried about using it again until German Michael, computer genius extraordinare has run a wise eye over it.

I just hope that it's something big deal and political, like Beijing planning to wipe all my criticisms of their more shonky practises, and not something petty and fiscal like, say, the Russian Mafia wanting to steal my financial details.

So let this be a warning to you not to use cybercafes in Bangkok.  It may just end in tears.

Sad to not be updating daily on our holiday jaunt, but we're now in tropical North Queensland and still having a wonderful time.

You'll get the highlights once we're back in Hong Kong.

Sorry!

This is a little frightening. I've been up-dating my blog daily but only the first post is now showing.

How odd that everything else has been wiped. I've been using cybercafes, I wonder if that's the reason.

I wonder if this post will show up ... or if it will vanish too.

Off to Cairns now.

Bangkok Holiday!

DAY ONE

This was definitely a LEGENDARY day.  In fact, I won't even tell you about it yet. Wait until I have more time to tell the story properly.

But let's just say for now that being trapped for two hours TWICE in gridlocked traffic is "experiencing the quintessential Bangkok" and share the locals' current big joke Q: "Why hasn't Burma invaded Thailand?"  A: "It probably has, only their tanks are still stuck in traffic!"

And must add there's a special horror to coming to the end of a LEGENDARY day and discovering you've accidentally packed the toothbrush that you previously used to scrub around the taps in your apartment back in Hong Kong, and then having to use your finger to clean your teeth.

But the bed is gigantic and the mattress is wonderful and it's all fabulous sheets and silk throw pillows and so life still feels good, despite getting home at 2.30 in the morning after finally eating dinner in what was little more than crawl space inside the roof cavity of the only restaurant still open. 

And, yes, I took photos, but you have to wait for them.

DAY TWO

Can't get the day started. The hotel is so lovely we don't really want to go out, so after sleeping in till practically midday we just want to hang around, madly pretending to be a couple trapped in Shanghai back in the 1920s.

DAY THREE

Finally went out yesterday, to check out the fire/protests damage we'd read about at Siam Centre and found it was completely intact, undamaged and "business as usual".  Bloody media beat-ups!!! You never know who to trust anymore, do you?

Apart from that, we never got anywhere thanks to a rainstorm that caused an Almighty Traffic Gridlock that ate up practically the entire evening.

We have begun to live in terror of these dreadful things and dread going out at all.  Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

These gridlocks have actually started changing the fabric of society, with people setting off for work at 4 am, and thus the expectation that everything be open at 5am which is fast becoming the start of the workday, which means the gridlock is starting earlier and earlier.

Do you recall me saying that I detested Bangkok because of the traffic, and didn't start to love it until we discovered the Klongs - the little canals - and riverboats for getting around.  Well, silly me!  When I booked this place, I forgot that, to get to the Klongs from Chinatown where our hotel is, you have to pass through this really dangerous, creepy area with kinda scary locals, and you always feel blessed to get through it with your wallet and your life still in your possession.

Thus here we are in Chinatown, forced to deal with THE GRIDLOCK and reluctant to leave "Shanghai 1920" to face THE HORROR!!!

Nonetheless, Keith is now saying he'd love to go back to see Jim Thompson's house and so we're off now.

Sympathy is welcome!

Off Again!

Am off shortly to Bangkok where we'll be staying at the most gorgeous boutique hotel.  I will definitely blog it so you too can just ache to visit.

Then we're flying down to Melbourne, hopefully to see Big Brother and Co.  And then whizzing up to Cairns to see more family.  Then Keith is flying down to Sydney to see his little sister (no doubt as the antidote to the overdose by my family.) and I'm staying on another week before flying back to Bangkok to meet up with Keith at what will hopefully be "our hotel" for several more days of massages and shopping, and with maybe a trip to the dentist so we do have a bit of pain in our lives!

So if you don't hear from me very often, not to worry.  I will be telling all - OK, not all, just the best - when I get back to HK in the middle of August.

Gosh, I do so love life!

Random Photo

Busy today, so I'll just do a random photo for today's post.

This is where I choose a photo from my program with my eyes shut. If it's interesting I tell you about it and if it isn't, I won't!

Here goes:

The little shop where they

sell tourist tat super cheap.

Honestly, you can't make this stuff up.  This is exactly what I'll be doing today.  Shopping for tourist stuff.  Amazing!  However, we'll be at Mong Kok Ladies Markets ducking the Acid Attacker and looking at handbags!

The Great Wan Chai Giveaway!

Went along to the "Last Chance to See" park yesterday afternoon:

It was so tragic.  The first thing I heard was birdsong. Yup, unseen birds singing their little hearts out, unaware that their entire future was in jeopardy.  It was like being in an Oscar Wilde fairy-tale.

Where will those birds go now?  Where will they sing? And all those little insects? And those little lizards?  And those poor taxi drivers?

Where will they all shelter now?

But you don't want to hear about that! You simply want to see what they wish to recycle, don't you! What they are giving away to good homes!

Well, apart from the wall ...

... with the amazing workmanship ... 

- which they still want someone to

dismantle and cart off for use elsewhere - 

... I'm not sure what they've got earmarked for other folk and what's still up for grabs.

Since there was a small digger on-site ...

 ... I'm guessing they've already got plans for the trees:

But those pavilions are wonderful too ...

 ... and the arcades ...

 ... and those bizarrely shaped little moongates ...

 ... and the waterfall ...

... and I'm guessing that all those are probably still there because they are still waiting for the asking.


But here's the stuff I really really want.  I mean, who wouldn't want to give a home to these wonderful lost little babies:

 And they have twelve of these wonderful dragon heads that I'm thinking would make amazing water-sprouts on the roof of my dream house:

 
I keep saying to Keith "I want. I want." and he keeps reminding me we have no place to store any of this stuff, so I'm thinking maybe I could store them at Aussie Christine's place.  She has a garden and everything.  So maybe I should ring China Resource and simply ask for it all.

So give me all of Monday to do this and then you can try ringing to get some of this booty for yourself.

The Great Wall of Hong Kong Giveaway!

Just along from us, here in Wan Chai, there is a little park ...

... which has been taken over by developers and will be destroyed shortly to make way for a new high-rise.

When I heard about this last year, I went along to take photos so I could post on it, but even I could see the park was definitely in the wrong place, all grim and dark because it was overshadowed by too many non-residential sky-scrapers and so sad and lonely and unused and thus ... well, I didn't say a word.

Now, however, it's about to happen and I feel very sad I didn't do something. A park is a park is a park and you can never have enough of them.  Oh OK, Zhuhai shows us you can have too many of them, however HK doesn't and we really can't afford to lose them this way.

However, the good news is that there is some fabulous stuff in there which the developers ...

China Resource Ltd, 

with a "sustainable development" motto ...

... want to recycle by giving it away to a good and appreciative new home.

And top of this list of giveaways is The Nine Dragons Wall; a 1973 copy of an ancient wall in China:

China Resource offered it to Hong Kong City but our ... mmmm ... Department of Heritage (aka "Tear 'em all down".) effectively called it "a piece of junk" and refused to accept it, thus they are now offering it to any one on earth who knows they can effectively use it some place.

Thus it's yours for the asking.  I won't ask. Keith saw me reading the newspaper article and instantly said "NO! DON'T YOU DARE EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!" and he's right because our shoe-box apartment is ... the size of a shoe-box ... and a giant wall through the middle is kinda a silly idea. BUT IT'S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL!

Mike went to have a look at it and decided what he really wanted was the little white marble wall in the front of this one; the one that's a copy of the little walls at the Summer Palace in Beijing.  Let me see if I have a shot:

Can you make out the white marble wall in front?  Not really?  OK, another shot:

Gorgeous too, isn't it!

And let me see if I have shots of the back and sides of this wall:

And just look at the quality of workmanship:

And all this could be yours for the asking, provided you have a plan and the wherewithal to dismantle it and take it out of there.

Mike was talking about a container and sea-mailing it to Fiji.  Hey, works for me!

There was lots of other stuff in the park there for the asking, but I'll save that for tomorrow's post.





Off now, and do drop by later so you can check it all out and decide if there is something in there your heart too desires.

What Kills Us This Week!

It's not looking good.  In fact, this would be all "Journey we more into the nightmare." stuff only everyone's simply cross at the moment.  However, this mood is definitely heading towards outrage.  Give it a few more weeks! Certainly it's our big talking point around here and everyone is citing the now-missing slogan "Diu lei lo mo!" 

What's happening to cause all this snittiness?  Well, in an effort to kill the language and independent thought of South China, Beijing has pulled the plug on all Cantonese TV stations, replacing them with their own stations which use their own language, Mandarin.   And these stations, naturally, will be toeing the Party line in a BIG way and do any of us really want that?  I mean, they call us "Those Monkeys in the South" so do we really want them shoving their own views down our collective maws?

Truly very nasty stuff. 

The response would be "Diu lei lo mo!" only, well, the famous Cantonese plague with those very words has suddenly vanished in some sinister overnight operation.  

"Diu lei lo mo!" is the very famous South China anti-Beijing slogan used since the Ming Dynasty, replacing the earlier much more subtle "The mountains are high and the Emperor is far away."  and was first used, apparently, by the famous Cantonese general Yuan Chong-huan who lead the Cantonese to beat back a Beijing Imperial Invasion in the early 17th century.

What this Ming-Dynasty battle cry means is very rude and vulgar and thus beloved of the "Tseen-loving" South Chinese. "Tseen" as I've blogged before is the Cantonese word for "vulgar", and yes indeed, down here we monkeys treasure our vulgar ways.  And since we still have the right to freedom of speech here in Hong Kong, let me exercise that with the translation "F**ck his mother!  Hit 'em hard!"

We monkeys especially love our freedom of speech, but it looks like that's going to be ushered out too.  Mainland China is currently cracking down on blogs, shutting off some and telling others to "improve their operation" which means "self-censor or die, you monkey scumbags."  I wonder if I'll be among those to go ... or don't they care about English-language blogs?  I do know you can't get Travels with Denise across the border, however surely they aren't interested beyond that?  Will I stay or will I go?  Won't it be interesting to find out!

Wait a sec.  Let me check something.  Ah, yes, they are shutting down English-language blogs up in China if they don't like the content, however they are calling it "service difficulties".  Cute, la!  Oh, and they are also talking about licensing bloggers and charging them rent to use cyberspace.  Yee ha!!!  Gosh, that Chinese Communist Party!  Such a hoot, la???  Gotta love their ways!

So that's an excellent reason for Hong Kong to panic this week, except I don't think it'll happen.  That's the other side of the Cantonese nature: sure, they Chicken-Little constantly and on the smallest pretext, however if you push 'em they are the scrappiest, fiesty-est fighters you have ever come across. 

But to choose this week's ... 

THREATDOWN 

Being Tseen and heard!

Go US, yes!!!

Travel Plans!

Keith's discovered a great airline deal and is down there with Horris now hopefully booking it for us.  Three nights in Kuala Lumper - which we loved last time - then three nights in Melbourne - "The World's Most Livable City" and then we go to Cairns and Townsville for 10 days.

And very cheap too, although hotels are extra.

Fingers crossed we get it, yes?

Can't Beat It!

 Am loving this:

http://www.tudou.com/programs/view/Xf4Ta-b1luc

Keith is currently on holiday which means I can seldom get the computer, so forgive me if I don't blog so often.

A Singapore Story

Found another old letter and newspaper article from 2005 about a jaunt to Singapore in Febuary:

NEWSPAPER ARTICLE

Worst dry spell in 29 years

From correspondents in Singapore

21feb05

SINGAPORE is suffering its worst dry spell in 29 years, 

sparking rare bushfires in the densely populated city 

state and cranking the island's air-conditioners into 

overdrive.

Firefighters have fought 388 bushfires since January 1. 

That compares with 355 for all of 2003 and 500 last year, 

Singapore's Civil Defence Force said. 

The biggest engulfed vacant land the size of about 15 

soccer fields on February 17.

The National Environment Agency said temperatures have 

reached a high of 34C almost daily since January 20, 

with February 9 - the first day of the Lunar New Year - 

hitting 35.5C, the hottest day in 15 years.

THE DROUGHT AND US 

Bloody typical!  Could only happen to us! 

Here we are, in Singapore, currently in the grip of a 

massive drought,and yet everywhere we go we manage to get 

drenched by heavy downpours.It makes us feel like we're 

Rain God Man from one of Douglas Adam's"Hitchhiker 

Triology".

In fact, we wouldn't have guessed there was a drought 

except for taxi drivers all talking about it and how 

embarrassed they were by the lack of green - but we 

didn't notice because everything looked wonderful to us. 

It's definitely a garden city. Beautiful place. 

However, it seemed really odd to us how all the taxi 

drivers talked about how no one had seen rain in months 

and there's Keith and me with straggly dripping hair and 

damp clothes going "We're the only ones who didn't want 

it and the only ones who got it." 

But I guess if only a few places saw rain, the Botanical 

Gardens were the most deserving so I'm glad we got drenched 

there rather than, say, the Art Museum. 

"Powerful Female Singers"

I don't know if you recall Frida from Norway, the gorgeous little girl we met in Luang Prabang in Laos:

I told you about her before (here) and how she'd just spent two weeks tending sick elephants with the Stay Another Day organisation and thought it was the best thing she'd ever done in her life.

However, this is another story about her that I've recently been reminded of.  When we bumped into her in the E'Stranger reading room, she was reading a South American novel, but in front of her, to be read next, was a biography of singer Nina Simone and when I asked "Why her?" she said it was because she knew of so few other powerful female singers who didn't become a victim of the men in their lives.

Don't you just want to throw people up against a wall and slap them senseless!  However, being immensely civilised, I put on my best school-ma'am face and very prissily snapped "Listen here Lassie, you just get out your little book (all travelers have one) and write down the names I'm about to tell you!" and, just off the top of my head, I reeled off a dozen names she had to immediately find out more about so she would never ever say something so absolutely stupid again!

So if you have very silly young people in your own life who say similar things and you're after names that aren't mainstream to bandy around and a wee sample to show 'em, please feel free to use this list:

1) Because her family comes from Fiji and I know her cousins, you may like to start too with the incredible Tanita Tikaram and her amazing South American-novelists-influenced ...



2)  You could then follow up with the amazing Patti Smith, simply because she was so inspiring to me as a poet back when I was a university student ...



3)  And next you could tell them about Marianne Faithfull and skip over her silly "Stones Girlfriend" period and go straight to her groundbreaking album "Broken English".  However, here I'll only link you to her recent wonderful duet with Senegalese singer/songwriter Ismael Lo ...



4) Next tell them about the astonishing Buffe Sainte-Marie and choose either of two songs to introduce her ...



... or maybe ...



... and let them take her from there.  A whole wealth of amazingly powerful songs!

5)  And maybe you can throw in any of a dozen powerful New Zealand singer/songwriters like the Tang sisters or Sharon O'Neill (who went to school with my sister, I think. And I think she's the pop star in Jane's lovely story about how they took a faluka cruise down the Nile together and sang the entire journey and stopped the Egyptians in their tracks.) (And they were all telling Sharon (?), already famous in NZ with about half a dozen hit records, she needed to think about becoming a professional singer.)

However, because I love her, instead just introduce them to Shona Laing ...

... and let them take it from there.

6) And finally, although I could go on and on about this for many hours, you may like to introduce them to the beautiful Deborah Conway with ...




And that should be enough to get them started: half a dozen powerful female singers who never became any man's victim.  And if that doesn't convince them, throw them up against a wall and slap them senseless.  They deserve it!

Double Happiness!

Showed you Raymond and Janet in front of the Double Happiness symbol yesterday.

A couple of years back, I sent a Double Happiness gift to my Big Brother and his wife and they asked me if I knew what the symbols actually meant.  I thought I did: double joy for both husband and wife.  But then, being me, I decided to find out more ... so here is the story behind the Double Happiness symbol:

Once upon a time, many thousands of years ago, in a small peasant village deep in heartland China, there lived a young peasant boy and girl.  From toddler-hood they were very close friends.

One day, the local teacher noticed that the little peasant boy appeared to be very clever, so gave him a free education. However, no one, apart from the little peasant boy, noticed that the little girl was also very clever, quite possibly moreso than the little boy, but the little boy passed on everything he learned to the little peasant girl and thus she got a rudimentary education.

Then, when the little boy turned seven he sat the exams for the public service education and passed with flying colours so was taken off to the big city for a proper big-time education.  However, before he left, the little girl wrote him a poem called Happiness and told him that if the time ever came when he needed these words, it was a sign he was to return to her.

Many years passed and the boy proved himself an exceptional scholar and when the time came for his final exams he won the top marks in the whole of the country and was welcomed into the Public Service, where he was to undergo his castration ceremony in order to become a Public Official. 

However, just before his castration ceremony, the Emperor had a problem.  He was composing a poem called Happiness but was stuck on the final verse.  With no way around his problem, his advisors told him of an exceptionally clever boy who may have the solution.

So the Emperor called for a meeting with Very Clever Peasant Boy, who, the instant he heard the poem, realised he already had the solution ... the poem given to him by his little friend from his past ... and thus recited the lines the little girl gave him.

It was an exact fit and a very elegant solution, thus the Emperor was thrilled and wished to richly reward the poet.  But the honest young boy told the Emperor they weren't his words; they belonged to a little girl. 

The Emperor was intrigued so Very Clever Peasant Boy told him the story about his promise. The Emperor was so moved he told Very Clever Peasant Boy that he had to keep his promise and return to the little girl, however only to fetch her and bring her to Court because he wanted to meet her.

Very Clever Peasant Boy did so and the instant he set eyes on little girl again he fell deeply in love and wanted to marry her and spend the rest of his life uncastrated and with her.

But he had promised the Emperor he would return and so he did, bringing Little Girl with him.

And when the Emperor laid eyes on the two of them together he said what he saw was Double Happiness and thus it was wrong for Very Clever Peasant Boy to be castrated in order to become a Public Official. And thus he gave his permission for exemption from the castration ceremony and permission for them both to marry and enter the Public Service together as two parts of the one person.

And this arrangement worked wonderfully and they worked for the rest of their life as a team and were blessed with great riches and success and respect and esteem and a great many very clever children.

And so that's what Double Happiness really means.  Joy for both parties, true, but also that two people join together as one and have enormous success and earn great wealth with their very special union.


However, I have just realised this is the exact story of the New Zealand scientist Ernest Rutherford, except without the poetry and Emperors and all that.

I'm not sure yet what to make of this but isn't it very, very interesting.  Mmmmm, I see a story emerging here.

Another Old Letter

Raymond gets married today and we're invited to the Tau-ist

pre-ceremony which starts in minutes:

Raymond and Janet

and the Double Happiness!

Thus, today I'll post up another old letter; 

this one from 2005.

What a great morning, with a great many fascinations:

1) Last day of Chinese New Year celebrations going on down
in Southorn Park. We were entertained for an hour by a Chinese
Omp-pah-pah band playing Irish songs like "It's a long way to
Tipperary." What's the bet that this is NOT a centuries-old
custom.

2) Today's paper has lots on the International Precious Gem
and Jewellery Expo, where they're wondering if it should be
continued when theft is such a HUGE problem. US$16 million a day
is shoplifted on average, they say. But the interviews with
participants and exhibiters they all say "We would be insulted
if there WASN'T shoplifting. It means our wares are thought to
be substandard, which they're obviously NOT.

3) Solved the mystery of why we always hear Chinese couples
say "I love you" and "I want to be with you." to each other in
English. The Valentine Day's issue of SCMP has interviews with
lots of people who all say they have to speak love in English
because Cantonese has no equivilant words for any sort of
affection. Honestly, it's a wonder these people are able
to breed in such numbers, isn't it!



So that's it for today.

Except for a photo of Raymond and Janet's nuptuals:

And the beautiful Old Mrs Fung who proves you don't have to have
a word of any language in common to consider someone a friend.

Being a lovely soul shines 

through in any language.

Just boasting!

Heard from the Dalai Lama today. How cool am I, la?  Yes, I know it wasn't a personal letter but it was still a very great rush! And it's going immediately into my file of letters from famous folks; people like Amelia Talbot and Musuveni.  And if you're asking who the hell they are, Amelia Talbot is the niece of Amelia Earhart and Musuveni is the President of Uganda.

I also have in there a heap of very erudite letters about Art from David Bowie, but I must admit I got those third hand. I'd tell you the name of the artist friend of a friend he exchanges letters with, except ... well, he most likely would be very cross to know she passes them on, so let's keep that very secret.

But I have to say I am very impressed with David Bowie The Man because he's a most clever and insightful fellow and an absolute delight to read. 

And also in there is a letter from a fellow who signed himself as Salman Rushdie.  It was a private reply to something I'd placed on the Fiji Message Board shortly after the 2000 Speight coup, about Fijian land unquestionably belonging to the Fijians, and this was a very silly attempt to counter-argue that from an Indian perspective. Normally, I'd have questioned that signature except this letter-writer used the most bizarre sentence structures and had a very odd way of putting ideas together ... so I immediately raced out and bought "Midnight's Children" ... and it was exactly the same.  Decided that someone was either a laudable Rushdie imitator or Salman Rushdie was taking a very close interest in Fiji.

Then, shortly after, his novel Fury came out where he talks about a little island called Lilliput that had all the problems currently facing the world yet always came up with very elegant solutions.  And reading that, it was obviously Fiji.  Unquestionably, he was talking about Fiji ... so Rushdie indeed would have been taking a close interest in Fiji at that time and would very likely have been reading the message boards, and thus this letter, silly as it was, went into the Famous People's Letters file!

I also have in there a lot of handwritten poems by Noel Coward ... but that's a different story.

Guess who I just heard from?  It's so cool, you'd never imagine, so let me just tell you:

His Holiness would like to thank all of you for the kind greetings you have sent on his 75th birthday. He is touched that so many people made the effort to offer their friendly wishes and, while he is unable to acknowledge each one individually, he would like to take this opportunity to express his appreciation.

With His Holiness's prayers and good wishes.

CROSS!!!

Had to pay $1,800 for my new visa.  "Not happy, Jan!"  However, I won't risk a refusal by complaining in here, so I won't say a word.  ZZIIIPPP!!!

Thus instead of a rant about punative charges, I'll just post another random photo and hope it's something that cheers me up.

OK, that's interesting: a photo I meant but didn't - I forgot -  sorry! - to send Baby Jane; the gate to her pool with a dozen orbs hovering in the entrance.

It was taken several years ago in the dim cold pre-dawn light when we were off to catch a flight out of Cairns.  I took some amazing shots that morning, although this isn't one of them.

Baby Jane is into orbs.  Loves 'em.  Goes through everyones' latest photos and only looks for orbs. Personally, I always delete shots with orbs because I think the photo is ruined, but Jane disagrees.

I read her book on the subject when I was in Australia in April and ... well, decided the whole thing was very fanciful, especially the part about looking into the orbs to see what shapes were in there and, whatever the shape, that was the message the angels were sending you.

Very silly indeed, yes!

Hey, let's do this!

OK, I've blown it up to the largest it will go ... and there are wayyy more orbs than I realised ... but I'm still not seeing shapes inside.  I mean, I can see shapes but can't work out what they are.

But that is odd.  If you look, a couple of the orbs appear to be behind the bars of the pool fence.  Can you see that?

Let me go get a magnifying glass and check this again.

I'm being very fluffy here, but the larger of the two at the front? There's a definite gold ring around it and the image inside looks like a kangaroo sitting on a rock in front of Uluru gazing out at a rainbow.  Inside the smaller orb looks like the moon over the sea.  And the one behind looks like a hand holding a bright rising sun.  And the one at the very top looks like it contains a dolphin embryo.

OK, that's enough fluffy for one day.  I won't attempt to interpret what those images mean.

And now you think I'm enormously silly, although you must admit it's a lot more fun than ranting about the stupidity of certain nations and their childishness in punishing other nations with ridiculous punative new visa charges.

Fluffy trumps CROSS anyday, I reckon!

Random Photo AGAIN!

Busy day ahead, trying to get visas et al for our impending holiday, and so I'll just post a random photo again today.

If you don't already know, this is where I choose a photo from my program with my eyes shut and if it's interesting I talk about it, and if it isn't, I go off and do other stuff.

Here goes:

Giant Christmas balls at Pacific Place in Admiralty about four years ago.  Very pretty, yes, but not interesting enough to talk about.

See you later.

Farewell Jack!

I am very sorry to hear of the passing of Jack B., a charming old gentleman from Ireland I met through this blog. I liked him a lot.

He wrote to me once telling me that, judging by my blog, I lived in a "beautiful world where everyone smiles." and noted that "wherever you go in the world, and you go to places I've never heard of, everyone smiles at you." and wanted to know how I managed this "great accomplishment."

I thought at the time "Say WOT???" because I've never noticed I'm some great smilee ... but since he mentioned it, I've started to notice, and yes, he's right!  People do smile at me alot.

How to I manage this great accomplishment?  I really have no idea.

Although I guess it could be what Mr Soshitty said to me in Cambodia!  You may recall our friend/stalker in Siem Reap who followed us around for days, just standing off in the distance watching us and grinning his face off.  When I asked him why he said it was because I was funny. And when I got all snitty, "Funny good, not funny bad." were his exact words!

And that was pretty much what that gang of tea-drinking gentlemen in Taiwan told me as well.  I told you the story about getting lost looking for the artist village in Taipei but I never mentioned how, during the three hours I kept trudging those stupid streets, I kept passing the same 'cha chan teng' - a little hole-in-the-wall cafe - full of hostile old 'non-English speaking' men who initially glared at me and refused to answer any questions ... but each time I found myself back there again - and they could see I was so clearly taken aback by such an accident - they started to grin ... and the fifth time I found myself back there, well, it was like the funniest thing they'd ever seen.  Gales of side-slapping laughter.  Good natured laughter, I should add, which was very kind of them!

Six time, well, they called me in, gave me a cup of green tea and, suddenly all English-speakers, asked what I was trying to find - Sun Yat-Sen's house, because it was slap in the middle of the artist village - and then to see my map so they could show me where I should go.

Seventh time I accidentally find myself back there again, and, well, they were weak-kneed with laughter, sure, but also a lot pity for such a directionally-challenged fool that a whole gang of them physically marched me to where I could actually see Sun Yat-Sen's house across the road.

As you know, I arrived too late to go in and that's when they hailed me a taxi and, grinning hugely, told me to go straight back to my hotel because they didn't want to have me wandering around in the dark trying to find my way to anyplace else.  And then, when I got into the taxi, they thanked me for giving them such a hilarious afternoon.

So I think that could well be the reason why people all over the world smile at me:  I'm a heady combination of BENIGN and STUPID, and that's something that translates every place on the planet.

So I would really like to thank Jack B. from Ireland for spotting this.  It's nice to know I live in a nicer world than most people do; a world where everyone is amused, benign and kind-to-idiots.

And also, Jack B. from Ireland, R.I.P.

What Kills Us This Week!

HK has the sweetest pack of ACE little girl artists and, man, do they rock!  Carrie Chau you already know since I've been a fan for the longest time. Now I'm also loving b.wing and her sad little bunny-girl.

b.wing's HUGE here. Everyone adores her work and books of her paintings - well, not so much 'paintings' as pen-and-ink-with-wash - are always best sellers.  Lost Little Bunny Girl's fast becoming what Hello Kitty is to little Japanese girls ...

... and please note that Lost Little Bunny Girl too does not have a mouth. It's long worried me that Hello Kitty doesn't, but I think that's precisely what makes her so iconic for little Japanese girls: they are silenced and they know it!

And now this new iconic HK image doesn't have one either.

Critics rave about b.wing and say her enormous popularity among young HK girls is because she precisely captures "their zeitgeist" and, yeah, I can see it.

Hell, I would not be a HK teenager for quids!  Either boy or girl!  But GIRL in particular. Boys can always bunk off to join the triads and get tattoos and great haircuts.  Girls?  Nope, nothing! It's the relentless study, study, study, alone in a high-rise apartment, with parents working 17 hour days to pay for the future she MUST make for them all.

And then there's that entire Sylvia Plath thing she goes on about in The Bell Jar:  that not only do girls have to be successful and clever, they must also be slim and pretty, fashionable and, dammit, outstandingly popular!


The pressure!  The pressure!

You know, don't you, that we're currently in the midst of HK's Annual Suicide Season.  It lasts about six to eight weeks - from the study fortnight for the end of year exams, through the exam period, the waiting-for-results period, and the final flourish after the results come out.

And you know too, don't you?, that the HK Government's masterful response to this annual spate of teenage suicides is to put bungy-jumping rescue teams on all the clifftops, and to issue schools with tents (to cover the bodies so as not to upset the other kiddies) and a useful stack of body-bags.

The horror! The horror!

Lost Little Bunny Girl suddenly makes a lot of sense, doesn't she.

And I'll tell you something else very odd about Lost Little Bunny Girl?  Whenever I've sent links to b.wing images to little girls in other places around the world, they too become instant fans.

And to think that the decades I spent in the Feminist Movement, fighting for the cause, and it's now all come down to this:

THREATDOWN 

The Incredible Journey.

It's been a couple of weeks of lost dogs in our family.  Big Brother Gerald had his two run off during a thunderstorm, and Baby Jane had her pig dog fall off the back of the truck while driving in the Oz Outback.

Frantic couple of weeks for both, driving around searching.

However, Gerald wrote over a week back to say a vintner rang to say he'd found two dogs in his vineyard, one with a broken leg and the other refusing to leave its side and clearly looking after it.

And now Baby Jane writes about her missing dog:

"We spent two days looking for Ruby last week and also had an unsuccessful search over the weekend looking for what I thought would be a mauled, crow-eaten body … but when we got back into phone coverage on Sunday afternoon we heard that a man had spotted her 50km away on the highway between Mt Surprise and George Town so we trekked all the way to George Town with no joy. Got home at midnight last night and rang the guy this morning who said she was last seen heading north back into bushland.

Peter reckoned she was going back to the beginning and so she did!  She made it through the cattle stations 10 80 baits and packs of dingos … between 60-100 km total walking and turned up at dawn right where we camped ... She is now tied up at the Mt Surprise Camping Ground waiting to be picked up … Peter and Thomas have just left for the 5 hour journey this morning to pick her up.

I am so amazed with this beautiful, clever dog. She was gone one week."

And it made the papers too:

So that's all Murphy family dogs  accounted for.  I guess our stars must have configured themselves in "the amazing lost dogs re-discovery" alignment.

Loving This!!!

This gorgeous letter is doing the rounds among NET teachers in HK.  Have no idea where it originated but it's so funny.  

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject:  Poster

I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not too busy could you make a poster for me? It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.

Thanks Shan.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

That is shocking news. Luckily I was sitting down when I read your email and not half way up a ladder or tree. How are you holding up? I am surprised you managed to attend work at all what with thinking about Missy out there cold, frightened and alone... possibly lying on the side of the road, her back legs squashed by a vehicle, calling out "Shannon, where are you?"

Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.

Regards, David.

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you don't like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

I never said I don't like cats. Once, having been invited to a party, I went clothes shopping beforehand and bought a pair of expensive G-Star boots. They were two sizes too small but I wanted them so badly I figured I could just wear them without socks and cut my toenails very short. As the party was only a few blocks from my place, I decided to walk. After the first block, I lost all feeling in my feet. Arriving at the party, I stumbled into a guy named Steven, spilling Malibu & coke onto his white Wham 'Choose Life' t-shirt, and he punched me. An hour or so after the incident, Steven sat down in a chair already occupied by a cat. The surprised cat clawed and snarled causing Steven to leap out of the chair, slip on a rug and strike his forehead onto the corner of a speaker; resulting in a two inch open gash. In its shock, the cat also defecated, leaving Steven with a foul stain down the back of his beige cargo pants. I liked that cat.

Attached poster as requested.

 

 

Regards, David.

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

It's a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.

Regards, David.

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. You seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,

Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don't come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I am willing to overlook this faux pas due to you no doubt being preoccupied with thoughts of Missy attempting to make her way home across busy intersections or being trapped in a drain as it slowly fills with water. I spent three days down a well once but that was just for fun.

I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.

 

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster
 

Yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,

I don't have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend's cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter, I kept the cat in a closed cardboard box in the shed and forgot about it. If I wanted to feed something and clean faeces, I wouldn't have put my mother in that home after her stroke. A week later, when my friend came to collect his cat, I pretended that I was not home and mailed the box to him. Apparently I failed to put enough stamps on the package and he had to collect it from the post office and pay eighteen dollars. He still goes on about that sometimes, people need to learn to let go.

I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.

Regards, David.

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says "I haven't seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?" you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.

I knew someone who had a basset hound that had its hind legs removed after an accident and it had to walk around with one of those little buggies with wheels. If it had been my dog I would have asked for all its legs to be removed and replaced with wheels and had a remote control installed. I could charge neighbourhood kids for rides and enter it in races. If I did the same with a horse I could drive it to work. I would call it Steven.

Regards, David.

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didn't say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. 

 Thanks Shan.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.

 

From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

 

From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.