Conversation with Beth

I wish I could say this is an original piece of fiction written by me but it is, in fact, an account of an actual conversation I had with our gorgeous Filippino cleaning lady, Beth, seen below (she doesn't want her face shown): (forgive the pitiful layout of this play - I do actually know better - but blogs don't appear to be capable of formatting plays.)

FAIRY TALES

Scene: Middle-aged but still very beautiful woman (ok, maybe a little fiction) works at a computer. Behind her, BETH (a very pretty Filippino woman) does the ironing. 

BETH: 

Mary? She's Australian, isn't she?

ME: 

(having no clue what she's talking about and 

not really listening) 

Mmmmm, I think so.

BETH: 

           If she's Australian then how did she meet the Prince of Denmark?

ME: 

(click!) 

In a bar.

BETH: 

(shocked) 

She was drinking in a bar and she met a prince?

ME: 

Yes.

BETH: 

And he married her!

ME: 

Yes.

BETH: 

And now she's a princess!

ME: 

Yes.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

That's such a good story.

Long silence ....

BETH: 

When I am walking through Wan Chai to come here 

there are many American men inside bars. 

Sometimes one asks me to join him for a drink. 

Maybe one of them is a prince.

ME: 

No! American men are never princes.

BETH: 

Maybe they are. Only it's a secret.

ME:

 No. None of them are ever princes. America 

doesn't have princes.

BETH: 

Maybe sometimes they do. Only no one knows.

ME: 

No. They are never princes. Americans don't believe 

in princes. There are no such things as American 

princes. Never, ever.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

But if they are not American maybe then they are princes.

ME: 

Maybe, but you would have more chance of winning the 

top prize in the HK Lottery than you would meeting a prince 

in a Wan Chai bar.

 BETH: 

Did the girl from Hong Kong meet the other prince in a 

Hong Kong bar?

ME: 

No. She met him through her work in Denmark.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

Mary will be Queen of Denmark one day?

ME: 

Yes.

BETH: 

Will the Hong Kong girl be also the Queen?

ME: 

Only if Mary's husband dies. Hong Kong girl's 

husband is younger than Mary's husband and 

only the oldest brother gets to be king.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

Is that why Hong Kong girl left the prince? Because she 

won't be Queen with Mary now to be Queen?

ME: 

No. She left because he was unfaithful to her.

BETH: 

(shocked) 

He had sex with other women?

ME:

A great many other women!

BETH

But he's a prince. He shouldn't do that.

ME: 

But he did! So she left him.

BETH: 

That is crazy. She left the prince! That is so crazy!

ME: 

Maybe she was tired of being treated like that.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

Yes. I think she should leave the prince because if 

he acts like that he isn't really a prince.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

Does she get money when she leaves the prince?

ME: 

Lots of money and a palace. She had children 

with the prince so they must be raised as 

princes and princesses.

BETH: 

(with total wonder) 

So that's why she is given much money and a 

palace! She has children with him!

ME: 

Yes.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

I would like to marry a prince.

ME: 

Mmmm, that's the fairytale.

BETH: 

It is good to marry a prince. If he treats you badly 

and sleeps with lots of other women and 

you have children you get lots of money and a palace!

ME: 

Well, maybe that's a modern take on the fairytale.

Long silence ...

BETH: How would I meet a prince?

ME: I have no idea.

Long silence ...

BETH: 

Mary met a prince in a bar. Maybe I should 

accept when men offer to buy me a drink.

ME: 

Go to the Jockey Club and bet on the HK 

Lottery. You will win there before you meet 

a prince in a Wan Chai bar.

BETH: 

But maybe not. Maybe it is more likely that 

the man who buys me a drink will be a prince 

and I won't have work anymore and one day I 

will be Queen. Like Mary.

ME: 

Hey, is that the time? Gosh, I'm late.

Woman dashes from the room.  Beth sings a Filippino pop song.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OK, I've just let on what a chicken-hearted person I am, but, really, what can you say?

Isn't it just the most tragic story? Beth is 42 years old too and should know better. 

Really, Mary has so much to answer for!!!

Mind you, Beth's husband ran off and left her with three small children to raise alone - without any money and without a house so that's obviously why she was so interested in the subject.

But forget the logic behind it all! Isn't it sublime!

P.S. when Keith got home and I related this conversation, he said I should have said "If you drink with men in Wan Chai bars, you are more likely to end up a drunk diseased prostitute than a Queen." but that thought never occured to me.

Clearly, chicken-heartedness comes more easily to me!