China TV

Chinese television! Mmm-hmmm! Now there's a treat for you.

Let me share the best of the worst:

BLACKFACE COMEDY

Like, why hire black actors when,
with a tin of shoe polish and a dishcloth,
you can create your own.

CENSORSHIP

I told you in an earlier blog about this. That when something comes on the English language station they don't want you to see, suddenly the screen goes black and this pops up:

Woman's torso in corset.
Is it meant to distract you?

And then, intercut with ads for slimming tea, these two cheery ladies talk for half an hour or more about corsets. In Chinese naturally. No one said this was sensible!

Say what?

And, while this is going on and on and on and on, when you whizz through the other channels this is what you see:

LIVE-FROM-BEIJING CORRUPTION COURTCASES

Justice seen to be done?

CHINESE NEWS BROADCASTS

Chinese-speaking Western guys.

OLD MOVIES


DUBBED OLD MOVIES

Vincent Price.
Met him once.
Gorgeous guy.
Didn't know he spoke Mandarin.
James Bond all in Mandarin
rocks too.


SERIOUS MINDED SCIENCE SHOWS

Loved this guy.
That tie sooo rocks.
Watched it for ages, trying to guess
what he was talking about.

ANIMATED VIOLENCE


WACKY TEENAGE HORROR MOVIES
Wack-eee!

Check out that Baddie-Vamp.
Helen Bonham-Carter has
much to answer for.


WACKY TEENAGE ROM/COMS

The Love Interest!
Such a sweetheart.
You can tell by her pink top
and that chocker that she's all-innocence.

WACKY TEENAGE GOD-ONLY-KNOWS.

Mmmm?

GOD-ONLY-KNOWS

I think you ring to vote for him
if you think he's the handsomest!
That, or phone him
and he'll drop by your hotelroom.

Ended up watching a Chinese retelling of the Roswell Incident. It was such a hoot watching Chinese actors doing the reenactments; did you know American G.I.s goosestep whenever they carry aliens bodies in for autopsies? Fabulous stuff! Don't have any photos however. Battery was flat so I was recharging.

And apart from the treats above, everything else is music shows and variety shows along with the odd travelogue. Good stuff, folks!