An e-mail from behind the lines

This email just in from our correspondent embedded behind the lines in darkest Guangzhou:

My blog is definitely blocked in China. I can access blogs "Denise Travels" and "Travels by Denise" but "Travels with Denise" is a definite no-go! I have posted from Guangzhou without problems in the past ... but it looks like those days are over.

Cool! How gorgeous is it that there's a possibility China finds me dangerous! YEE HA!!!

I've asked Keith to post this for me in Hong Kong and hopefully I haven't been blocked there.

Naturally I'm trying to figure out why I've been locked out this way and can only think it's because no one here wants me talking about dangerous subjects like ... mmmmm, what it's like getting robbed in Guangzhou, or the endlessly and amazingly labyrinthine bureaucracy of the place trying to sort it all out, or the police incompetence and how everyone always says to give up all hope of seeing anything again because Chinese cops either never find anything EVER or don't return anything they do find ... but, as an endless optimist, I still hope.

Dear oh dear! You have no idea what this has all been like! My very best advice is simply DON'T GET ROBBED IN CHINA!!!

Sunny asked "Is this the worst thing that's ever happened to you?" and I thought about it and realised, no, the worst thing that's ever happened to me is getting strangled on that skybridge in Guangzhou two years ago, and being astonished that these two events - getting strangled and getting robbed - happened only feet away from each other. It really is ODD isn't it! And the big Starbucks connection ... but that's all so strange I'll have to think about it before I post anything about it.

I know I've already told you all about the strangling, which was my very first blog-post, and with this latest travail, I'll give you details naturally, so you know what to expect if it ever happens to you, but only after I've left China.

In the meantime, all I can do with the endless time on my hands is to mourn my losses. Forget my passport! Forget all my ID that's gone and which WILL be used for identity theft - everyone, even the police, say that's why an entire bag is stolen; if it's money they simply take the wallet - and I don't even want to consider the problems that will DEFINITELY happen to me in the future as a consequence. Forget too this incredible inconvenience. And the awful new sense of vulnerability! It's my belonging that I'm mourning!

They aren't just possessions because I love everything I own. Everything has its own story. My beautiful red bag! It took me two months searching to discover a bag I could love! And my stupid old Nokia phone. Nearly nine years old and still as strong as the day I got it. I wouldn't upgrade even after it became a joke - even an embarrassment - because it was mine and I knew how to use it! It was meant to live out its allotted days with me! And my camera! I know I didn't love it like I did my old one, which literally exploded in my hand, but I was definitely getting fond of it, despite the fact the photos were a little too dark and it had a delay I couldn't take off so I kept missing my shots, which you may have noticed. And to lose Shadow! I can barely function without Shadow. I know you don't know about Shadow because that's something from the depth of my soul and only my very dearest are aware of its existence! But let me tell you that that's an irreplacable loss ... but I still hope it finds its way back to me somehow.

Such treasures in there! All irreplaceable. Like the photo of Kele as a baby where he's so heartbreakingly cute. It was in my wallet because I'd decided to "Dafen It"; get it turned into an oil painting as a present for him on his 35th birthday. It's the only copy so ...

... and to think these are the type of things these thieves will toss aside as valueless. It's enough to make you bawl your eyes out!

Mmmm, I need to cheer myself up with happier memories. The best bits of all this? Ah, I just love The Marfans Masai! (To visualise him, think of a jet-black Lurch from "Addames Family".) You're going "Say what? A Masai in China!?" right? Yes, he's a Masai and he's here in China! I know! I know! It's astonishing me too. Here we are, in the depths of China, enduring untold travails, and there's this Marfan-esque Masai right at the heart. He isn't really part of this story - I hope - but he keeps on turning up throughout this entire ordeal; in fact he was there right from the start and he's there at every key point; like some non-narrative leit motif; just standing in the background like some sort of gaunt voodoo Baron Samedi. Once he even spoke to me: at the Inn, at the very lowest point of this saga, he's there again and, in the most unexpectedly BBC voice, says "I'm so sorry this is happening to you!" It was truly thrilling!

OK, OK, I now realise this is me automatically turning it all into some sort of narrative, attempting to find structure and meaning within all this, but I ADORE my Marfan's Masai, and love that he's always just there! Life really is always better than fiction, isn't it!

Oh, wait, here's the very, very, very best bit! I'm deep in the heart of Sino-Bureaucratic-Labyrinth when I suddenly get trapped between two waist-high security barriers. Young security guard repeatedly presses button but it doesn't work, so he calls another security guard who tests the button, then phones, and a dozen more security guards turn up and each of them presses the button in turn, and then they phone and a boss turns up and presses the button, and then he phones and a bigger boss turns up and presses the button, and a higher-up boss turns up and presses the button and then phones ... and by this time it's been ten minutes and becoming unbearably stupid, so I jump the barrier. Yes, they're all shouting at me, but what can they expect ... and because I had no idea what they were saying and, moreso, because they were trapped on the other side of the barrier I simply ran away!

And on that stupid note I'll leave this for today.